| Author | Post |
|---|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Sat Aug 16th, 2008 09:50 pm |
|
Once again, my mom was so efficient in ruining my mood.
She told me I was weak and lacking faith in God.
How hurtful is that?
She thinks I don't pray hard enough.
Even if I try explaining to her what I've been through, how often I talk to my angels, she goes to answer I'm not good enough. I should serve God more.
How helpful, huh?
I'm still dealing with this gift. It's pretty hard if you not only see angels but other entities and beings and sense ghosts and all that. I wonder how she would feel if she had my gift!
I'm sorry that was a bit mean.
I'm just a bit angry. I try my best to start my day right, and she goes on to tell me I'm weak. And she wants me to throw all my feathers out after she opened my drawer and saw them. She thinks I'm practicing witchcraft.
The last thing I need right now is someone telling me I'm weak. I don't need to hear that especially from my own mother. I sometimes wonder why my friends understand me better than she does. Now I'm beginning to feel like it's worthless opening up to her about my gifts.
Then she sides in with my grandma, who thinks the only way to handle gifts is her way. She wants to teach me prayers in Latin. Tells me I need to pray to God more. I so want to tell her I could speak to angels already, long before they even knew! But I don't think they're going to truly believe it, just because I have been imprisoned by negative forces or my own fears.
Even so, it is by my faith that I was released. Can they not see that? It was not them who freed me, it was my own faith and my God! They might have been instruments, but would they know about this if I wasn't the one who first got sick and who called for help?
Blah. Now I'm really ranting.
My relationship with my mom has always been a rocky one. Sometimes I wish she would let me be truly independent. I feel so suffocated!
I think for her I will never be good enough, and that is just so painful.
Last edited on Sat Aug 16th, 2008 10:13 pm by Faye
|
Paul91
Member
| Joined: | Sat Mar 8th, 2008 |
| Location: | Coram, New York USA |
| Posts: | 254 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sat Aug 16th, 2008 11:20 pm |
|
Wow, thats almost exactly how I feel with my mother...but about other things.
You are so gifted, Faye. Don't let her get to you. Stay true to yourself! Much love and thoughts go out to you.
It hurts alot when parents don't understand their children. But be strong, and remember that only love is real and time heals everything. If not in this life, then maybe they will grow to be more understanding in the next.
Love,
PxLast edited on Sat Aug 16th, 2008 11:20 pm by Paul91
|
Cutemexgal
Member
| Joined: | Tue Jul 8th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 176 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sat Aug 16th, 2008 11:27 pm |
|
Dear Faye,
Maybe she's not trying to ruin you day, maybe she's so afraid of you going through the same thing all over again! And since she loves you so,she doesn't wanna see you go through all that! Sometimes for us as the children is hard to understand our parents' ways...But keep it up girl! She'll eventually see how stronger your faith is now and how fearless you've become!! Try to open to them in the best way you can. If you feel they won't understand or listen, Ask the Holy Spirit to make the talking through you. Smile Faye  You've overcome your fears and there's nothing that could take it away!!!
Again, I'm so so HAPPY for you!!
Blessings,
Erika
|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 01:37 am |
|
I do understand where she's coming from: she's coming from "fear." Sigh.
It's like I have to prove myself to her, and I feel like I don't need to. Because I think the only person I need to prove anything to is myself.
But she has always been like this... She redefined the word sMOTHERING for me.
Erika and Paul, thanks for understanding, and you are right Erika... I do have to ask the Holy Spirit to do the talking through and for me.
Thanks!
|
dee
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jan 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1630 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 02:16 am |
|
give your aura that extra boost before you see her....and ask your angels to not let her penetrate it....having her words bounce off and not affect you...Michael does it for me always.....I use to see my mom and the day would drain me! putting it mildly....we are fine now. Your mom is trying to make you do what she thinks is best for you.....she needs to back off for sure......is there any way you can tell her she is hurting your feelings? or making it difficult to be with her?....probably not right....I can imagine her reaction....so sorry hon....mom's and daughters can be a rough relationship.....I thank God always my daughter and I are very close. and we even want to rent a place on the beach next year just the two of us...she's such a sweet sweet girl...you'd love her! LOL
praying for you faye......Dee
|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 02:59 am |
|
I actually told her a lot of times already. The other night I stood up and actually started crying to her, and I told her I am having a hard time healing myself because she's been dealing with a lot of issues in her. She has a lot to forgive, and her pain and anger are being transferred to me.
She's been through so much with my grandma and aunt Doris, and I understand that. So I told her she has to let it go, because I'm getting affected by all of it.
I know she wants the best for me, and I know she thinks I'm still 3 years old (!!!). But this is just too much!
I really am getting tired of all of this, especially now that I am on my path of healing.
Dee, thank you! Maybe one day my mom will understand I can stand up on my own now, and that if I do need help, I know who to ask help from and if I need HER help, I would ask for it. And she doesn't need to shovel it down my already wounded throat!
|
Ellie
Member
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 05:17 pm |
|
Faye,
I will pray for you and your mom.She sounds like my exs mother.I am so greatful for the relationship I had with my dear mother.Everyone loved her.She was just ma to everyone.I suggest you try to talk to her calmly when you are not so emotional and tell her how you feel.She may not change but I think you need your peace to be heard.You go girl.
Ellie.
p.s. dont let anyone (even your mom make) you feel unworthy.You are a beautiful child of god and if others cant see that how sad for them you know it.
|
atomic33
Member
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 05:18 pm |
|
| Amen to that Ellie xxxx
|
dee
Member
| Joined: | Sun Jan 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1630 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 05:31 pm |
|
have to agree with Ellie too Faye.....we are all worthy.....don't let anyone make you feel any less than that............also........want you to know....I grew up with a really angry mom.....and up until a couple years ago it was very hard for me to spend the day with her...it would drain me and I'd just crash when she finally left.....God has answered my prayers...or she has worked thru her stuff...she is a friend to me now.....and I spend as much time with her as I can...so, don't give up....you two may be working thru some karmic thing....if you keep sending light into the relationship it will work itself out.......anger doesn't do it any good nor does equal negativity...it will just stagnate..so....keep praying for your relationship and I'll do the same!
blessings...Dee
|
maureen5
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jun 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 319 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 07:12 pm |
|
Dear Faye,
I am also praying for you and your mom. You need to be true to yourself; she may never understand you in this world. I have a much better relationship with my mother than I ever have; she is now 82. But she still has a much closer relationship with my sister...I used to be jealous of that, but I've given that up. Your mom is loving you in the best way she can;;she is trying to protect you. from hurt.
There's nothing wrong with you...You are a special being created for a special purpose. We love you...
m
|
Ellie
Member
|
Posted: Sun Aug 17th, 2008 11:06 pm |
|
hey everyone,
As long as we are on the subject of mothers I have a story for you.My friend of more than 20 yrs her name is Carrie has a very controling mother.Carries mother is all alone as she gets older and can not accept the fact that Carrie has a life.Carrie spends alot of time with our family as we sort of adopted her.She feels safe with us.Her mom was also abusive as was her sister.Her mom puts us down and outright lies to Carrie about us.Yesterday Joe and I ran into Carries mom in the mall.First time Joe ever saw this women.I said hello and made small talk and went about our business.She called her daughter and told her that Joe told her he hated my family and that he was horrible to me and Carrie should stay clear or else.Carrie is 43 yrs old with a husband and 3 kids.Oh yeah Joe never said anything but hello to her.I did all the talking.I know she is lonely and envious of people that have families but why go after people like she did us? Carrie loves her mom but her mom is still abusing her but in a worse way.I feel bad that Her mom is not a happy women,I hope she sees the light and realizes she does not have to attack people who are.Anyway thats all.God bless
Ellie
|
dana64
Member
| Joined: | Wed Feb 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 740 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 05:30 am |
|
To me it sounds like these moms have issues that they need to clear themselves in order for them to be happy....
Faye just be strong I know you have faith in God... Protect yourself are when your are around her....You are own your own path and journey...Do what you need to...You have came along way!!!!
I am fortunate to have a good relationship with all my family...They all came over for Jamie"s party today!!! We are all very close....
Love and blessings dana
|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 07:07 am |
|
I told my mom I want to take courses on angel healing.
She goes to tell me no.
Blah.
|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 07:08 am |
|
But guess what...
I'm still going to, and am doing my research already!
|
RedBird
Member
| Joined: | Sat Dec 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 283 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 09:05 am |
|
Faye,
It seems that you are right on in your perceptions about your mother. Yes, she may want what is best for you, but that does not mean she knows what that is. You may tell her once or a thousand times who you are and what you need in your relationship with her. There is not guarantee she will listen, understand, or if she can, that she could just change to be that way. Not be hard on her, but she has her own issues to deal with.
Sometimes saying 'yes' to ourselves means saying no to what other people want for us. It hurts because we love them and want their approval. I think Paul91 jumped right to the heart of it, 'stay true to yourself.' But it is the hardest thing to do when people are being controlling. They don't have the right to tell you what you can and can not keep, like the feathers. And it is the hardest thing to just up and feel worthy when so much of the information you are getting from people you relied upon is saying that you are not. Knowing logically that we are worthy and healing from the wounds that tell us we are not are two different things.
There's probably a part of you that feels lousy-awful for going against your mother. That is why you want her to let you be independent. That is, after all, what our parents are supposed to do. Help set us out, help us to test our wings, then watch us soar. But if you wait for people to let you, you will have the obstacle of having to change them first. Go fly anyway. And if there are shakles on your feet, then that is your struggle to free yourself. But free you must be and fly you must if you want to go where your heart is taking you.
Love,
RedBird
P.S. And good for you on starting your research on the course you want!
Last edited on Mon Aug 18th, 2008 09:09 am by RedBird
|
dana64
Member
| Joined: | Wed Feb 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 740 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 04:48 pm |
|
| Faye do you still live at home with your mother?
|
Faye
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 5th, 2008 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 861 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 05:24 pm |
|
Yes, Dana. At least until the 29th. We share the room since we're staying here in my aunt's house. She'll be going back home to the Philippines. I know I'm going to miss her but I really do need some space! LOL.
RedBird, I think I am finding the obstacle of having to change my mom first, which I don't think is good. I wrote a commitment for myself two days ago, and I've written that for the time being, it's just going to be about me and my healing and my God. I'm not going to listen to any discouragements or anything that I know is not true about me... even if it comes from my family!
Now I only have to be very firm about this commitment.
|
maureen5
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jun 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 319 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 06:42 pm |
|
| Your mom may be like a lot of mom...She criticizes you to your face, but brags on you to other people...It seems that many parents don't think praise is a good thing, even when you're grown. Just take care of yourself...
|
RedBird
Member
| Joined: | Sat Dec 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 283 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 06:52 pm |
|
My heart smiles for you, my fellow warrior, for promising to listen to your heart.
Love,
RedBird
Last edited on Mon Aug 18th, 2008 06:55 pm by RedBird
|
dana64
Member
| Joined: | Wed Feb 27th, 2008 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 740 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18th, 2008 07:17 pm |
|
| It will get better do what YOU want and she will how happy all this is making you...
|
Current time is 09:34 pm | |
|
