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Multisingularity
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 02:54 am |
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OK, I know this sounds somewhat crazy, but it makes too much sense for me to ignore. I am going to keep myself anonomous, but here is my story. (I appologise for spelling in advance) I am 21 by the way for reference.
My entire life I have fealt as though I was special and different, though I have never known why or how. I have never really fit in and for a very very long time have not really considered myself male or female (though I am male). I just have never got along with males and I am not female, and to an extent (though a lesser extent) I even have trouble understanding females. I am getting better at the understanding of people though I still don't really see myself as one.
I greatly enjoy playing with orbs (acrylic balls in specific, I contact juggle them). I have only been doing this for 4 months, but am learning at an extraordinary rate. I've also always liked sceptors/staffs, though I have never owned one, I have always wanted one. Lately I have been learning a lot of different things without ever having taken a class. Examples of this are: Yoga, Tai Chi, chiropractics, contact juggling (mentioned earlier), poi, and more. I have been told by someone who can read auras that mine is as follows: The bootom layer is a layer of ice, a real pretty blue. In the middle layer is a paleish green (though I believe it is probably more of a gold and it mixed a little with the third layer (I believe this because of my eyes)) The third layer is a darker really pretty green. Around it all is a shining white which she told me means my intentions are always good (which is true, there are very few things in my life I have done which I have fealt bad about and I have forgiven myself for them (none of them were taht bad anyway)). My eyes have a ring of yellow around the pupil and green around the outside. They change to blue when I cry. I had a tarot reading recently and teh dragon was in my destiny place. I have seen into "the spirit realm" or whatever you would like to call it (essentially the living essences all around us) a few times now and am getting better at bringing it up. I know I am missing things, but I feel this should be sufficient for now.
The number of "coincidences" I have been running into lately are absurd. To be honest, I didn't believe in angels at all until about 4 days ago, and for the most part am still really uncertain of them... However I have been paying attention to the massive amounts of signs and coincidences in my life lately, and tehre have been a lot a lot of them (hard to ignore actually). Well I was led to a book on angels (because it was by a book on dragons and I thought it was pretty) Well I tend to get bored with readign rather quickly, but right in teh beginning I read about Dominion angels and their description matched me almost perfectly... So perfectly it freaked me out a little bit. The thing is, is it would make near perfect sense if I were one, for it would match up everything in my life. I have talked to two people about it... The first one I talked to got kind of upset... She said, yea I kind of figured this out already and you are the second one I've had to deal with... So I did not here the you are crazy I was kind of hoping for. The second one, was someone who just stopped when I passed by and started to say she felt blessed (she was a cleaning lady at my college)... I told her at some point I think I might be an angel, but I am not sure, and she responded with an I think you are... so Again no denial. I have been told by multiple people now I need to read the books on Toltec knowledge and I will before too long because I understand them very well.. (This part does not surprise me for I have been doing philosophy for some time now (not reading it, just figuring it out myself))
Sigh, so I suppose I have written enough for teh time being, however I will write more if requested. There are many more "coincidences" that have occurred and it's getting to a point where it seems I can't deny who/what I am anymore. A part of me still thinks I must be wrong, but at the same time, I keep getting slapped with signs saying this is who you are, accept it. So I suppose what I am looking for is help in a few ways. I guess one way is reassurance, and another way is help figuring out my real name if this is indeed the case.
P.S. Recently in my life I hit as low as one can emotionally. I was told by my tarot reader on one of my readings (I have been going back since my first and he has been giving me free follow up readings (wonderful man)) that I was going through the ultimate test. I was a little young for it, but that is what I was going through. I have been fairly depressed most of my life due to my inability to understand why people act the way they do, however over the last 3 months I was really pushed to my limits. I was crying up against a wall asking over and over again why I am not aloud to kill myself, and almost checked myself into a mental instituion because I figured it would be the next best thing. I am a lot a lot better now, thanks to spiritual recognitions, so I do believe the test is over, or at least close to it. OK I am forcing myself to stop typing now.
Awaiting some help, and thank you in advance.
-Me-
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dtemerson
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 11th, 2008 |
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Posted: Tue Apr 15th, 2008 05:50 am |
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I think the fact that you are asking for help might say that you are unsure whether you are an angel or not. Perhaps, even angels don't know they are angels; so, what difference does it make what anyone thinks? Do all you can to create peace in the world and you will be an angel for sure! Do everything with love and how can you not be an angel?
DT
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atomic33
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Posted: Thu Apr 17th, 2008 09:12 pm |
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Wow I think there are lots of people in your situation and age is irrelevant u could be 10 years old and be sitting in a room full of 70 year olds and still be the oldest soul in there.
What matters is r u doing what your supposed to be doing once your on that path even if its difficult something will feel right your getting the signs so your well on your way nobody said it was gonna be easy we have all been tested at some point some more than others
I personaaly feel you need a mentor had a purple flash when i thought that so it must be a given!!
'ask for a Teacher and they shall appear '
All u gotta do is ask if ur not happy with what u see spiritually ask for them to stop for now give u a time out.
It us up to u take control with what u feel comfortable with and the let it grow from there and there is no rush
hope i have been of some help
take Care
Atomic33
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namaste
Member
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 05:38 am |
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Dear Dominion,
Suicide is not the answer. Nothing can ever be destroyed. Taking your own life will not change who you are.
I can relate to being frustrated with...reality. Wanting things to be as you think they should be. Faith is believing in something for no logical reason. Trust God. That's a no brainer. Easier said than done however.
By putting myself into your shoes "I" learn. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I hope this helps.
Oh and she who is known as Atomic33 aka Emma is right. you may be 21 in this life but...some of us are on dog year time. If you catch my drift. ))))
Think positive and you will find positive. Embrace life and love it. Works everytime for me at least. Imagine each moment as if it were the first and last.
Awesome isn't it?
Hang in there. Everything will be ok.
namaste,
paul
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Multisingularity
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Posted: Tue Apr 22nd, 2008 06:29 am |
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I wanted to thank you all for your kind words and help. I still can't say for sure that I have any idea who/what I am except I know that I am not normal and I still think pretty strongly I am an angel.... which is fairly weird considering I don't fully believe in angels... haha.
I must say that part of who I am does not allow me to completely believe in anything with no logical reason. I always require some sort of reason behind things. However, when one thinks enough and works hard enough at it, logical reason comes for things where it seems hardest to be. My thoughts lately are my case and point to that. I am someone who believes in philosophy and I don't really believe anything quickly or easily... yet I believe I may be an angel. Seems contradictory, but I assure you, there is logic behind the statement.
There just have been a lot of coincidences and signs that are hard for me to ignore. I am going with things the best I can and I know the knowledge of who/what I am will come to me when it is supposed to, for all happens as it is supposed to.
" Think positive and you will find positive."
I find it so funny that you put this, because I learned this less than a week ago, probably less than 4 days ago. Except it's not think positive, it's feel positive. Feel positive and you will find positive. It's a little harder, but from what I've seen, far more consistent/accurate.
I am still very much in a recovery period. This last semester has been the hardest couple months of my life. All a part of my learning process I know, but learning these kinds of lessons hurts, a lot sometimes.
In time will come answers.. I have found some help from someone who went through something similar to what I am going through. And I know I need to read the voice of knowledge and the four agreements. I read the first chapter of the voice of knowledge and loved it. I reference it frequently. I need to get these books at some point in the near future. I've been told through multiple sources to read them, so I will.
Anyway, I will stop rambling for now. I always feel like I sound a bit crazy when I talk about this, but I guess that is because I am still accepting what I am or just don't understand what I am yet.. Like I said, all I truly know is that I am not normal.
<love3
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Moonspell
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Posted: Tue Apr 22nd, 2008 08:03 am |
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You are certainly not crazy, you are incredibly blessed, but this must be very difficult for you. I too, am not normal - I have never felt like I belong and am still looking for my purpose in life, but it sounds like you have found yours.
Love and Blessings.
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Gargoyle
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Posted: Thu Apr 24th, 2008 09:09 pm |
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I don't have a lot of answers, but at 21/if I'am remembering correctly, I too felt like and to this day I called myself outcast, misfit, and did things that seemed crazy to other people but not too me.
I don't know if this is any help but I love to share, perhaps because I cannot see when you lose interest in what I have to say.
 wow senior moment forgot what I was going to say.
I too have a gender/problem, I have always leaned towards the Tomboy type, watched and imitated Popeye as a child, learning to be transport driver (mania)
Took dance lessons, 4H baking etc. sewing, but I lose interest so quickly, also do not like to successful do the same things twice.
I hope & pray that this makes sense to you. There are alot of things to learn in a life time, do not ever deny yourself that pleasure. God Bless 54female
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namaste
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 05:23 pm |
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Dominion
I read your response and find that you and I have a lot in common. It appears that others do as well. Soooooo, either we all are crazy, and we all are alone. Hmmmm. I don't think so.
I find that I have been where you are not so very long ago. Thinking that I was crazy or alone.
Some believe that our souls are immortal and divine. Gnostics believe this " I THINK". Perhaps you are discovering this and confusing it with being an Angel. I think that if you were an Angel you'd know it. Not haveing been one I can't say for sure but.......it seems to me that they are quite different from us. Having said this I have heard that we can act like them and do good. To be in the right place and time to help someone who is at the end of their rope. I do believe that. I do believe that we can be manipulated to do God's will. Heck, there is no limit to God. Whewwww
Dee has turned me on to a good webpage. I have immersed myself in it. I intend to do so frequently. That site is religioustolerance.org
It helped me understand myself. Brought me peace.
I hope you find your peace.
OH and this is my plea to ask you and everyone to pray for Paul91.
peace, love, harmony
paul
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dana64
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Posted: Wed Apr 30th, 2008 06:21 am |
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| i have just started beeing alot more aware of coinincidences now i know its not coincidences Im just getting the feeling and learning how to accept my gift before I thought I was different which I am but by finding this site reading books and lots of prayers and asking angels for signs and guidance everything is improving I am just like all of you so we all fit in perfectly with each other that's why we were led here! God bless you dana
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rosemary162
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Posted: Mon Aug 22nd, 2011 02:55 pm |
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| please message me, i can help u on all that
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