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Coffee Talk With Your Host Linda Richards
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AriesAngel
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 Posted: Wed May 21st, 2008 11:43 pm

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“Hi, this is Linda Richman. I’m vaklempt! Talk amongst yourselves! Here, I’ll give you a topic: The Holy Roman Empire. It wasn’t holy, it wasn’t Roman, and it wasn’t an empire. Discuss!”
 


Coffee Talk




Linda Richman: Welcome to Coffee Talk I'm your host Linda Richman. On this show we talk about coffee, New York, dawters, dawgs, you know no big whoop just Coffee Talk. The big news is that I Linda Richman, saw Barbra Joan Streisand in concert in Las Vegas, Nevada. She was so beautiful, and her voice was like buttah. But wait, it gets better. She invited me on stage. Hand to God, I was on stage with Barbra Streisand. It was just like when Merv Griffin used to invite Mrs. Miller up from the audience. Now I'm getting a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: a Thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master. Discuss! There I feel better. Let's go the phones. The number is 555-4444. Give us a call we'll talk, no big whoop. Hello?

Caller #1: Hello Linda. You saw Barbra in Vegas. Did you do any gambling?

Linda Richman: Are you kidding? I played the slots so much I think I have carpel tunnel syndrome. I can't even open a door. I was hoping that Robert Redford would offer me a million dollars but instead a dry cleaner from Newark asked me to move over. Evidently I put on some weight. I've been trying so hard. I'm at my wit's end. (doorbell rings) Who is it?

Voice of Richard Simmons: It's me Richard Simmons!

Linda Richman: Richard Simmons, Come in I love you!

[ Richard Simmons runs onto the set]

Richard Simmons: Linda you look wonderful.

Linda Richman: Start!

Richard Simmons: Linda I'm so jealous. You were on stage with Barbra Streisand. What was she like?

Linda Richman: Oy God. She's a pistil in my scheinel ponnum. A scheina cup. Mitin drinin dura hommelginnum homelmitzvah etzel betzel tookel hyam yenkel sem out my kyahh.

Richard Simmons: That's what I thought.

Linda Richman: Exactly.

Richard Simmons: Linda, that's not the only reason I came to visit you. I thought you looked so beautiful on that stage.

Linda Richman: Thank you Richard.

Richard Simmons: And it makes me so verklempt to see those extra pounds under those cute little pants.

Linda Richman: I don't know what you're talking about.

Richard Simmons: Linda, look at me. Be honest. It's you holding the fork.

Linda Richman: Richard, you have ibbaboodled in the cappie.

Richard Simmons: Linda you know I'm right.

Linda Richman: You're right Richard. Please help me.

Richard Simmons: You know I've sold a lot of Deal-a-Meals, and helped people. So I made a deal that is more motivating to you. Deal-a-Streisand.

Linda Richman: Deal-a-Streisand?

Richard Simmons: (sings) Linda can you hear me? Linda can you hear me?

Linda Richman: Anything please just help me.

Richard Simmons: (sings) I'll show you how to live not eating candy you'll be a ball of buttah. Just turn the card around and use them now.

Linda Richman: Can I still eat Italian?

Richard Simmons: (sings) People. People who eat pizza have the highest cholestrol in the world.

Linda Richman: What about dessert?

Richard Simmons: Dessert? (sings) I can't bring you blincent anymore!

Linda Richman: I've been eating so many desserts. I feel a little guilty.

Richard Simmons: There's nothing to be guilty of.

Linda Richman: I just remember when I couldn't eat anything. Anything.

Richard Simmons: (sings) Memories. Wipe the cream off Apple Pie. Don't need those extra calories. Kiss the fat goodbye.

Linda Richman: Thank you Richard you made me feel so much better.

Richard Simmons: But Linda remember something: (sings) Happy days are here again. The sky above is clear again. So let's sing a song about happy thighs.

Linda Richman: Boom Boom Boom.

Richard Simmons: Happy Tooshes.

Linda Richman: Boom Boom Boom.

Richard Simmons: Happy neck.

Both: Boom Boom Boom. Happy days are here again.

Linda Richman: That's all the time we have. Thank you Richard.

Both: Barbra, we love you!





I'm VAKLEMPT!!!



Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 04:57 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:48 am

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oh my god I have never seen this what is it ?????

dee
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 12:20 pm

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I've seen it.....it is hilarious.
Dee

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 04:56 pm

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plaese tell me whatto look for on You Tube xxx

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:08 pm

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Hi Emma Darling,
I myself was looking for "Coffee Talk" videos on You Tube and I couldn't find anything.

Basically "Coffee Talk" was a regular running skit on NBC's show Saturday Night Live.

Mike Meyers would dress up as Linda Richman (who was his mother-in-law in real life) and host a talk show called "Coffee Talk". It was hysterical because she would have all kinds of guest on her show to discuss nonsense topics.

Linda Richman is Jewish and therefore Mike Meyers would have little yiddish catch phrases like "I'm Vaklempt" "Talk amongst yourselves" "I'm going Mashugana".

Also Linda Richman LOVED Barbara Streisand so Mike Meyers use to talk a lot about Barbara Streisand or "Babs" as she's know in certain circles on Coffee Talk.

One time Barbara Streisand made a surprise appearance on Coffee Talk and everyone went crazy or Mashugana as the Jewish people would say.

So I hope this gives you an idea of what I am going on about.

Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:09 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:16 pm

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sounds good petal !!!
I shall see what I can find
hows your day gone I have well and truely vented my throat now hurts , seriously
And our naughty little employee has removed 2 items from the shop without payment tsk tsk caught red handed
goodbye tomorrow
strike 3 your out !!!

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:18 pm

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I even got my Angel to talk to heres but she obviously is very caught up in ego
she is A beauty Therapsit after very looks concious
no offense anyone !!!!

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:57 pm

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Hi Emma,
So sorry to hear that your throat is hurting:(. Your employee is naughty indeed.:X

At a young age we were all taught right from wrong. Stealing is definitely WRONG!

Therefore I do not understand why someone would intentionally steal something when they know it is WRONG to do so!!:X:X:X

When I hear stories like this it makes me sad and lose faith in mankind or womankind in this instance.

So sorry my dear to hear that you have to deal with bulls*it like this.

I personally would call the cops on her as well as fire her.

Big Hug,

Julie

 

Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 05:57 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 06:25 pm

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Thats 3 people who have stolen from me what have I learned hmmmm
that 90% people are never who they say they are,
To try and see things from thier perspective,
not to be negative and approach it in a diplomatic manner ??
Well I have done all them so today I lost my rag
cancel all negative thoughts

People know not what they do

too true

When Im 50 I shall write a book about the trials and tribulations of a Hairdresser

Tomorrow when you look in the sky and see fireworks know that they come from me and the Angels sorting things out in my shop
Please Angels give me the strength to keep my sagitarian fire under control!!!!!!

thanks petal xxxx

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 08:37 pm

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I think you need to get Austin Powers man of international mystery on the case, he took care of the fembots, he can get rid of your troublesome employee. 





















Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 08:45 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 08:59 pm

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He is totally shagadelic but the teeth are bit of a put off he defo doesnt make me horny baby
but I reckon your right I do need a private eye xxxxxxx

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 09:20 pm

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I would love to own the "Shaguar" BABY!!! I would look so hot driving around in that. Picking up hot looking guys asking them if they would like to "shag now or shag later". Nudge-nudge....wink-wink...GROOVY BABY.





 




Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 09:22 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 09:32 pm

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Hey I have a mole ahem Beauty spot on my lip like Cindy Crawford ...obviously and we were talking about it the other day
and the mole episode on Austin Powers 3

we use it often!!!!

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 09:36 pm

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzCLHGn4K8U&feature=related#

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvxe04wGmTw&feature=related#

Last edited on Thu May 22nd, 2008 09:39 pm by atomic33

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu May 22nd, 2008 10:31 pm

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LOL!!! I loved those "mole" scenes. They cracked me up. Guaca..MOLEEE!!!

atomic33
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 Posted: Wed May 28th, 2008 11:29 pm

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Have you seen Bo Selecta in the USA yet ??
Its a bit bizarre right up your street mind Julie !!!
News Flash Anchorman has left the building OMG cant be found

I feel like im trapped in a glass case of emotion

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Wed May 28th, 2008 11:35 pm

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Hi Emma,
It's been CRAZY at work today so this is the first time I've had a chance to log onto the board.

No, I have not seen Bo Selecta in the US. I know he can be seen on Youtube.

I can understand why you feel like you are trapped in a glass case of emotion. We BOTH need a sabbatical.

You from the shop and me from the nightmare company I work for. 6 weeks of rest, relaxation and fun would be a good start to ease our stress.

Of course 6 months off paid would be even better. I could have a LOT of fun and get into a LOT of trouble in 6 months....oh ya baby!!!


 

Your Yank Friend,

Julie

Last edited on Wed May 28th, 2008 11:35 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Wed May 28th, 2008 11:40 pm

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I know Ive been looking at holidays today we have been run off our feet too its been great though the B.Therapist has been the block to us moving forward as a business thank the lord thats done now xxx

I now have cold am I clearing ??
God knows !!

Het by the way my Angel was stood clear as day when I was on here 10 mins ago sat in the dark wow the whit light made me jump it was like a flash light
never seen it so bold before
Thanks Angels xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Wed May 28th, 2008 11:47 pm

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Hi Cheeky Monkey,
Sent you a reply to your PM. Wow, I am impressed that you saw your angel. What a lovely gift.

I don't see my angels but I sure do feel their lovely energy presence around me.

So sorry you have a cold luv. It must be your body clearing out all the stress and other "icky" energy from the Beauty Therapist and such.

Lee needs to pamper you with chicken noodle soup, fresh hot bread or any other comfort food that you prefer. Plus some yummy chocolate helps as well.

If you can (I know it's hard with 2 young boys)try to get as much rest and sleep as you can. Your poor little body is so run down right now.

Big Hugs To You,
Julie

Last edited on Wed May 28th, 2008 11:48 pm by AriesAngel

atomic33
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 Posted: Thu May 29th, 2008 06:35 am

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Thanks hun
I need some quality time in bed for sure
computer said no last night couldnt get back on
it was well stressful and I dont know why cause i aint done nothing or something and there was this other thing that was totally mental and it had me totally bitchin yeah but no but yeah but no but xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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