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jkoffman45
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 Posted: Sun Sep 21st, 2008 01:58 pm

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Hey everyone I need your help with the love of my life.  His name is Randy.  I know he loves me and I love him.  Randy however, needs emotional healing.  The poor guy runs hot and cold all the time.  I do believe he's scared from past relationship.

Please pray that he returns to me again and the his emotional state will be healed.  And he will finally come forward and tell me how much he loves me and would like a relationship.  Thank you all in advance.

 

I will pray for all of you too.

Love and Blessings,

Jen 

Ellie
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 Posted: Mon Sep 22nd, 2008 12:05 am

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Jen,
My prayers are with you hon.I am going through something simalar with my man right now.Joe says he loves me and we get real close then he backs away.I dont see him enough and he makes excuses for it.I know Joe loves me and we get along great otherwise.He has recently been divorced after 31 years.Sometimes these things take time.I get very sad with the situation sometimes.Even though women tend to display their emotions more guys hurt just as bad sometimes.The other day when Joe came over I was tempted to tell him right away how much it hurts when he is not around.I knew he was having issues with his son,so I let him talk about that and I could tell he was very stressed out.Then he brought up the subject of his not being here.Then I could tell him how I felt about everything.We talked it our for the time being.I do not expect him to change right away.It still bothers me.I was told by another very wise person on here that when they come to us they need to be whole.If Randy is worth waiting for then you will find the strength to do that.Good luck and godbless
Ellie

jkoffman45
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 Posted: Thu Oct 9th, 2008 02:13 am

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Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.  I will pray for you and your situation as well.  I know Joe will come around, I feel it in my heart and you will finally be happy.  God Bless.

Jen

Ellie
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 Posted: Thu Oct 9th, 2008 03:32 pm

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Jen,
I get that feeling about you also.Joe has been trying harder of late.I just found out that a women who has been dating her boyfriend for 4 or 5 months got engaged ove the weekend.Joe and I have been together for 2 years and he has not even mentioned it.Sometimes the good ones are worth the wait ya know?Blessings and love
Ellie

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Thu Oct 9th, 2008 06:26 pm

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Ladies this book just might come in handy for the both of you.

http://www.ebooks.com/ebooks/book_display.asp?IID=214112

 

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
By: Behrendt, Greg; Tuccillo, Liz; Marcus, Barry David
Published By: Simon & Schuster


table of contents

Introduction by Liz
Introduction by Greg
You Are All Dating the Same Guy
1 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out
2 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You
3 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
4 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex with You
5 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else
6 He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk
7 He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You
8 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You
9 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You
10 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11 He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak
12 Don't Listen to These Stories
13 Now What Do You Do?
14 Q&A with Greg
15 Closing Remarks from Greg
16 Closing Remarks from Liz








For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.


He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.
The truth may be He's just not that into you.
Unfortunately guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, ''You're not the one.'' But their actions absolutely show how they feel.
He's Just Not That Into You -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.
Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean ''I'm in love with you and want to be with you.''
He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start ''figuring him out,'' consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.



Last edited on Thu Oct 9th, 2008 11:42 pm by AriesAngel

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 12:14 am

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10 Signs a Man is Not Ready To Commit
 

  1. He is Noncommittal and Vague About His Feelings

You can never quite get him to admit to the depth (or shallowness) of his feelings for you. You are ‘okay’, ‘alright’ or ‘straight’. He hasn’t made any proclamations about what you mean to him, how important you are to him or what he thinks about you. In the best-case scenario (if your man is not particularly talkative), he shows his feelings, even if he doesn’t tell you about them. He is polite, courteous and responsive to your needs. He cooks for you. He mows the lawn (unasked). Or something along those lines. The worst-case scenario? He doesn’t share any of his feelings with you because he doesn’t have any. The deepest feeling he has for you is the aforementioned ‘alright’. And nobody wants to be just 'alright'.




2.He Doesn’t Share His Plans With You

You don’t know how he spends his free time. You don’t know who his friends are. You don’t know what his goals are. Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is not a good sign. If you are not a significant part of his current life, you are probably not a significant part of his future plans either. If you are in a new relationship, give it some time. But if you still know very little about him after dating him for several months (or several years), this man is quite happy to keep you right where he has you – on the outside looking in.




3.He Doesn’t Answer the Phone When You Call

I know we all get busy sometimes. I don’t answer my phone at least 30% of the time (I have to work and sleep, you know). But if, he rarely or never picks up? Or if he is only calls you in response to a message (or several) you’ve left on his phone or because he sees your number on his caller ID? Bad, bad, bad signs. A man who is interested in you wants to talk to you. No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him (or at least your phone calls should be). If you are not, you need to re-consider his being a priority in your life.



  1. He Hasn’t Introduced You to Anyone (or Introduces You as a ‘Friend’)

Okay – this is simple. If a man has not introduced you to anybody he knows (and he at least has a mama, a couple of friends, co-workers, or somebody), you are probably not very important to him or his life. Why do I say that? What’s one of the first things you do when you meet someone (that you really like)? Introduce him to your friends or invite him to different functions. Men are not so very different from us – if they love having you around, they will invite you to be where they are. And, in the normal course of those invitations, you will meet people who are in his life. If you haven't, then beware. And, closely related to this:



  1. He Doesn’t Tell Anyone About You

When you talk to him, he may mention conversations he's had with his family or friends. He tells you all about these conversations where he discusses baseball games or the basketball finals he watched on tv, the repair he's having done to his car or how his boss is getting on his nerves. He may even mention to these aforesaid friends and family his weekend plans. But, then you catch on to something - he told them what he was going to do, but not with whom he would be doing those things (namely, you). A simple oversight? An overriding need for privacy? Possibly. But, more than likely, he is not ready for anyone to know of your existence in his life. This could be for a number of reasons, but none of them are good. So, keep up with his mentions of you in his life - it is an important indicator of intent and the seriousness with which he takes your relationship.



  1. He Talks About His Future in Terms of ‘I’

When he talks about where he's going to live, what job he plans on getting or what school he plans to attend, it's all about him. "I'm" going to move to Florida or "I'm" going to go to the University of Nevada. Or, even when he talks about things that could conceivably involve you, like a future trip, moving from his apartment to his house or even a movie he plans to see, for heaven's sake, still no mention of you. What should this say to you? That he's still thinking of himself in terms of being single. It has not yet occurred to him that the relationship he has with you could become more serious. All those "I's" and lacks of "we's" is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner.



  1. He Doesn’t Take You Out

Sure, he likes spending time with you - but only in the privacy of his home. Or, he can hang out with you at school, but it never seems to go further than the coffee shop or library. This man is not ready to be serious with you. A man who wants to be with you will spend time with you in a variety of places - both publicly and privately. And even if he's not personally very interested in going to the museum, eating out or seeing a movie, he should at least be willing to give it a shot if it means pleasing you. Beware of a man who limits your activity to one specific type of place.



  1. Only Calls Late (aka Treats You Like a Booty Call)

Right. I'm sure you're not engaging in late-night conversations with inapproporate men. But, just in case this applies to you (and you are accepting those late-night calls), just understand that he is not serious about you. If he only calls late, you have to ask yourself: what is he doing between the hours of 8am and 9pm? Why can't he call then? Is he involved with someone else? Is he married or recently separated? Or does he simply see you as a way to get his needs met (whatever they are)? Unless he works a really odd shift, there is no reason that your guy cannot call you at a reasonable hour. Do what seems right to you, but know that late night calls do not equal serious intentions.



  1. He Doesn’t Share Personal Information

Have you ever asked yourself why you don't know where your guy lives? Or where he works? Or you're not even 100% sure of his last name? Unless you are truly just disinterested (or aren't inquisitive enough to ask him), it's probably because he doesn't want you to know. And why doesn't he want you to know? He could be hiding something. Or, most likely he doesn't consider your relationship to be serious enough to share the serious information about his life with you. Don't think so? Try asking him thoe questions the next time you see him. His answers (or lack of answers) will speak for themselves.



  1. He Doesn’t Take an Interest in Your Activities or Your Future Plans

We've already been over the fact that he doesn't tell you his future plans. But now, to add insult to injury, he doesn't ask about yours either. Why is this such a bad thing? Let me ask you something - to what kind of people do you fail to ask questions like these? That's right - acquaintances. People you barely know. You even talk to your boss (who you can't stand) about what you plan to do for the weekend. Yet your guy doesn't ask? Very suspicious. Suspicious enough for you to rightly think that he simply isn't interested in knowing. Or else - he'd ask. So those are 10 good signs that the man with whom you are involved has no intentions of being serious with you. He may be a good guy - fun to hang out with, good to his dog - but he has not reached the level of being ready to be committed (at least not to you). If it is a new relationship (a year or less), wait a while and see. But if it has been over a year, your best bet is to keep your options open. Don't let the opportunity to be involved with someone who is committment-minded pass you by while you wait for your guy to get a clue. Again, do what you feel is right for you, but put yourself first. Honor your own needs. And try to be with someone who accords you that same respect.

Last edited on Fri Oct 10th, 2008 12:23 am by AriesAngel

Ellie
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 01:05 pm

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ok Joe does take interest in my future plans he does share personel stuff with me,he calls me at all differnt times he does take me out,everyone knows about me and we both hang out with his friends.He answers when I call.Joe does not drink.Not to get personel but we are do have an intimate relationship.So I think Joe is into me.As I said lately he has been really trying to spend more time here.Maybe I just need to be patient cuz I know this one is worth it.Thanks and god bless.
Ellie

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 05:10 pm

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The problem is he does not spend any time with me anymore. He says things come up but sometimes nothing comes up and I still dont see him
Ellie

No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him

Last night Joe was supposed to come over as monday is our date night.He didnt show. Joe went home to shower after his golf game and fell asleep.
Ellie


 No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him


 

When we went on vacation it was great except he played golf alot.I understood going in it was a golf vacation but I did expect to see him more
Ellie


Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is not a good sign.


 

We have been together for over 2 years.We should be talking about a future by now but I am the one who brings it up and he changes the subject or makes a joke.
Ellie


is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner. 


 

When he talks about the future its never a conversation about us being in the same house.  
is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner.


I know he likes coming and going as he pleases

I just dont know if this relationship is as important to him as it is to me
Ellie


Or does he simply see you as a way to get his needs met (whatever they are)?


 

No he didnt come over again and tonight cancelled also.He said tomorrow.I do not believe him anymore.He is avoiding me because he knows I want to have a talk

Then if I do see him tomorrow it will be for about 3 hrs then he has a golf game.Then sat he is playing also.
Ellie


He may be a good guy - fun to hang out with, good to his dog - but he has not reached the level of being ready to be committed (at least not to you).


I just found out that a women who has been dating her boyfriend for 4 or 5 months got engaged ove the weekend.Joe and I have been together for 2 years and he has not even mentioned it
 


is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner.

7 He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You




You're right Ellie, from everything you've said quoted in blue, he's just so into you....;);)






Last edited on Fri Oct 10th, 2008 10:19 pm by AriesAngel

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 06:21 pm

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A smart woman never, ever, forgets that she is a whole person in her own right, with or without a man in her life.

A smart woman knows that her most valuable sense, is a sense of self.

A smart woman knows that being smart means trusting her values more than she trusts her hormones

A smart woman knows that being smart means letting her intelligence control her emotions and not the other way around.

 

Last edited on Fri Oct 10th, 2008 06:26 pm by AriesAngel

Ellie
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 08:40 pm

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Aries angel,
I have asked you not to respond to my posts in anymore
.Joe is trying now that we have talked.When I had a life threatening infection he was there every day at the hospital every night until I fell asleep.You dont know us.Yes I vent when I dont feel that he is around enough.Please do not throw my words in my face.

Ellie
P.s.perhaps a life is what you need as you seem to have the time to go back and pick out every little quote.

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 09:01 pm

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Hey Ellie,

The last time I looked in the mirror I did not see the words "Property Of Ellie" tattooed on my tiny tight ass.  So therefore you have absolutely no authority over me.:D:D:D 



I can reply to any post I want to and write WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT.  It's called FREEDOM OF SPEECH ELLIE.:D:D:D

Besides all I am doing is posting exact quotes out of YOUR OWN MOUTH.  Your quotes speak for themselves so GET A CLUE.:shock:



Julie

P.S. Sweetie, I don't need a life because I already have a FABULOUS ONE thank you very much!  Oh and btw...I guess THE TRUTH HURTS YOU, that's why your granny panties are all in a bunch.  Wink a Dinka do;)


Last edited on Fri Oct 10th, 2008 10:53 pm by AriesAngel

Ellie
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 02:23 am

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Ok I am a lady so the word that I want to come from my mouth I have way to much class to say.I know you have never cared for me but if you have not noticed this is a place of love and healing and discussing our angels who love us.You need to grow up.I have informed the admin of this sight about your behavior.So winkado on that crazy.
Ellie

Ellie
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 02:24 am

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Oh by the way its not MY panties that are in a bunch.

atomic33
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 08:08 am

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I think you will find that the response from Julie was her offering guidance with a book that does actually exist and is on the book shelves its not an offensive book althought the title may seem so, its actually a very helpful book which alot of people I know have read.
Yes this website is here for HEALING and that is what is happening here its just that you think Juile has a problem with you but your issues have just been brought upto be dealt with its no big deal and you keep fueling her fire if you read what she says then it will all make sense.

Energy healing isnt always a positive rose tinted experience unfortunately just like my run in with Ariel Dove she brought up anger in me to be dealt with which is fine and if you remember rightly I was stepping in to defend you no one is against you on here Julie is not a nasty person but she brought up stuff within you to deal with thats all.

Much Love
Emma xx

Last edited on Sat Oct 11th, 2008 08:12 am by atomic33

Raylaj
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 01:13 pm

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Hello.

I just want to say I pray for you about your relationship. Personal I hate books that try to define a person based on how they act on a Given Situation alone!

Man or women or dog/Cat. Their are many thoughts that go into one act, so therefore I find it hard to sum it up into you got to be a Stronger person who can handle you life an not accept that "Stuff"

We all have "Stuff" A Stuff can be healed!

One thing I like is when Somebody take my suggestion thats how I know their listening, they don't have too, but when I give healing advice an the do it, it make me know they are open to trying what I am saying.

However they may still be open even if they don't take my suggestion.

THe GOD/GODDESs and our conection to that force, is Greater than all the Psycho babble anyway!

So I send my pray to your situation. You need your friend Randy to feel better. That's important!


with love...Jul

Ellie
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 01:48 pm

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Ok I dont think anyone but Dee is aware of the nasty pms Julie has sent me.I have not shared with anyone.Plus if you have read her last post to me she was foul mouthed and vulger.Is this ok with everyone else?Than so be it.You all are making me feel very uncomfortable.What should realize is that all relationships go through trials.That does not mean Joe isnt into me or love me.I vent when I get upset with him.So?Its healthy,I was also able to talk it out with him.I just dont want everything I say thrown back in my face.I came here for guidence and prayer and to offer prayer.I dont want to be attacked or bullied.I cant believe someone could defend her after the lanuage she used to me.If anyone had known about her nasty pms to me they would know why I asked her not to respond to me.I dont know that she is not a good person and she does not know me either and she does not know me and Joe.So when I come her asking for advice I dont expect to be verbally abused.
Ellie

jkoffman45
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 06:14 pm

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Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I shall pray for you and all of you please do the same for me. Thank you. Randy my friend is starting to feel better. If he and I never become an Item he still needs your prayers and me too, as do we all. Thank you my friends.
Jen

dee
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11th, 2008 08:14 pm

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I think we need to fix this folks.....why has this gotten so out of control? I don't know how and I don't know why?
Dee

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Sun Oct 12th, 2008 03:18 am

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I have informed the admin of this sight about your behavior.So winkado on that crazy.
Ellie

 

I am not offended easily.If someone does not agree with my perspective hey bring it on.I have big girl panties to pull on and I can deal with it.
Ellie




 

HHHMMM I guess once you put on your big girl panties your way of "dealing with it" is running to the Site Admin and complaining.



 
 I dont expect to be verbally abused.
Ellie

 

Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 12:40 pm

P.s.perhaps a life is what you need as you seem to have the time to go back and pick out every little quote.
 
Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 06:23 pm
You need to grow up.I have informed the admin of this sight about your behavior.So winkado on that crazy.
Ellie

Posted: Fri Oct 10th, 2008 06:24 pm
Oh by the way its not MY panties that are in a bunch.

.

 

How interesting Ellie, YOU accuse me of verbally abusing YOU.  Yet here are three examples where in the very same thread YOU are verbally abusing me.  Makes YOU a bit of a HYPOCRITE now doesn't it?

Last edited on Sun Oct 12th, 2008 05:18 am by AriesAngel

AriesAngel
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 Posted: Sun Oct 12th, 2008 03:37 am

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Ok I dont think anyone but Dee is aware of the nasty pms Julie has sent me.I have not shared with anyone.Plus if you have read her last post to me she was foul mouthed and vulger.

Ellie



 

Wow Ellie you're so right.  The PM I sent you below (which you are referencing above) is  so nasty and vulgar, from my foul mouth. 

I didn't realize that wishing you to have a good evening with your lovely pets was being "nasty" to you.


Julie

 


_____Original Message_____
From: AriesAngel
Date: 2008-10-01 18:19:37
Subject:

Well Ellie,

If you feel that constantly talking about your ex and all the bad things he has done to you conveys that you've forgiven him, moved on and have no anger or ill will towards him.  Than it's fact.  Have a good evening and enjoy your lovely pets.


 

You responded to me with......
_____Original Message_____
From: Ellie
Date: 2008-10-01 19:27:30
Subject: Re:

Look I do not want you to pm me anymore.You are being childish and I prefer not to communicate with you any further. What is your problem?

I have another idea.If you have something to say to me do it on the message board so we can see if you are alone in your judgements about me.

                                                               Ellie




                              

Last edited on Sun Oct 12th, 2008 03:47 am by AriesAngel


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