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josie
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 04:53 am |
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i am 36 yrs old. my husband and i would love a baby more than anything in this world.
i hope God could forgive me for having an abortion in Jan 1995. i was young and finanically destitute at that time, i didn't think there was a way that i could have a child. over the yrs, i have never been able to conceive. i feel like God gave me a blessing, and i threw it away. i commited a terrible sin, i will never forgive myself for it. i think about that horrible day all the time, i am haunted by it. i want to make peace with it, but can't. please pray that i become a parent, i would make a wonderful mother today.
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Raylaj
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 05:46 am |
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I pray for you that your able to become a mom. I baby is such a wonderful thing. No matter what u did I think GOD understands the difficult of having a child at the wrong time.
I know of somebody who had a abortion and a few years later she had other children. I don't think it God pushing you. It sounds like you told God about your Sin, he is forgiving.
I heard of Chinese Accupucture have herbs to help a women get pregnant.
Look or alturnative solutions , I sure you will be successful.
blessing, Rayla Julia
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dee
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 01:04 pm |
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Dearest josie
dear girl...God HAS forgiven you...please forgive yourself!!!!
There are millions of women out there who have had abortions....literally millions...please don't do this to yourself...you were young and petrified and if you feel this was a sin please know GOD really has forgiven you....honestly....God's love doesn't wane....He knows why we do the things we do....BUT, most of all HE KNOWS what's in your heart josie....he knows you better than you know yourself....God is all about 'love' and he isn't mean and vengeful.......HE wouldn't take that gift of child bearing away from you.....it seems your guilt may have though.....please please please work on forgiving yourself....and know more than anything that he loves you just as much now as the day you were born...
I feel so bad.....I just want to hold you and give you some comfort...because I know you deserve to be a mom.....I know you'll be a great mom...
everyday from here on in...tell yourself 'God does love me'...call on Raphael to help you to heal this issue in your heart of guilt....Raphael WILL be at your side until you DO heal it....I work with Raphael in reiki....and I would love to do some sessions for you...
You can heal this josie....It's your guilt keeping you from that baby you want so much...Let God be with you and ask him to help you with this guilt of yours......He doesn't want you to feel like this....when I've been in a desperate situation as you are I've had to give it to God because I was just at the end of my rope and felt I had no where to go with it.....HE came to me and healed it all....trust Him josie....Let him show you how much he loves you...ask him to take this into his hands
regardless of how you feel about yourself right now it's important for you to know that no matter what you 'feel' you have done in the past as sinful...HE STILL LOVES YOU.....and in his eyes you still deserve all the wonderful things he
gives to us....there isn't a person in this world who hasn't sinned....we have ALL been sinful...we
are far from perfect....but I know he still loves me no matter what...which makes me love him that much more!
so please start working on your guilt...please...
find a book or what ever you need to help you work with him and call in his angels to start the healing process...You need to heal this feeling of such guilt you are carrying josie....You will heal it with their help.
but it is of utmost importance right now that you know without a doubt how much love he has for you....
my prayers are with you and I will send some reiki if you'd like? what ever I can do....we have others in here who do reiki as well....and we all pray for one another in here....
blessings hon....dee
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Ellie
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 01:22 pm |
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Josie,
Relax and it will happen for you.My friend tried for 3 years and nothing happened.Then, when she finally just said I guess we are never going to have a baby the following month she got pregnet.Now she has 3 children.My sister was told she could not have any children.She went through fertility treatments and conceived twins.She miscarried one and ended up having the other one, a beautiful little girl who is now 17 an honor roll student and headed to an ivy leauge school.She also has a son who was conceived without fertility treatments which she was told would never happen.I think you want this so bad you are tense.Give this up to the angels.Promise them as hard as it will be, that you wont think about it or stress over it.Just let nature take its course.I assume you have seen doctors and ruled out any physical problems for you and your husband.I almost lost my son at birth.He was 3 lbs.He is fine now.Miracles happen.Expect miracles.If you find out for some reason that it cant happen naturally there are many many kids in this world needing great parents.I know it may seem like Angie and Brad have them all (lol).
Good luck to you both and no matter what happens I think you will have the chance to feel a mothers love.
As far as forgiving yourself,well look at it this way god gave his only son to die on the cross so we may be forgiven.If he can sacrifice that for us,I think that is a good lesson in forgiving our selves.You are still working on healing.I suggest you do some deep breathing excersizes and get in touch with god.Speak to him,ask him to put you at peace with the past.We all make mistakes.God made us fallable.We are perfect to him.We should not have to live with our mistakes for the rest of our lives.We deserve to be forgiven most importantly by our selves.When I was alot younger 21 to be exact I went to Hawaii to live with my sister and her husband who was in the marines.She needed help with her daughters as he was being deployed to Japan for a few months.Anyway I did some things there that were crazy.Nothing illegal.Well I was a young single lady living on a marine base.You use your imagination.Well anyway since I was living on the base(not exactly legally)my fun almost got my sister and her husband in big trouble.The point being is that I made mistakes.I have long since forgiven my self and I know God has forgiven me.I am not sure about the people I knew in Hawaii or my sisters husband, but if they are hanging onto my mistakes thats their issues not mine. Its important to forgive yourself.I will pray for you.Godbless.
Ellie
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josie
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 04:06 pm |
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| Thankyou everyone for responding. You are all correct. I need to forgive myself. I am obsessed with thinking about what i did. And honestly, the obsession started about 1 yr ago. for yrs i always felt wrong about having the abortion, but at some point last yr it really hit me. i would have a 13 yr old in high school. i really messed up. I pray to God to please grant me a child, i really would be a wonderful mother. i am a terrific aunt, but it just isn't the same. people ask all the time why i don't have children. complete strangers, and it really kills me. i know it hurts my husband too, he just tells an awful joke about how we can't stand kids. he just does it to get them of his back. people could be very nosey, i am sure everyone has come across nosiness. about 2 weeks ago, i met a true earth angel. this cashier at the supermarket, i have been going on her line for yrs. she always smiles, hi how are you type of thing. never ever chats futher than that. but that night, i was buying some Halloween stuff, and she asked me what aisle I found this one particular item on, i told her, and she said she would run down there and get one on her break for her son. then out of the blue, she said to me, "i had my son when I was 42, i never thought i would be a mother, he is 4 now. I used to pray in church every week, and write in the prayer request book asking God to let me have a baby because I would be a wonderful mother. and it finally worked one day. don't give up hope." I stood there speachless for a second,then took my receipt, and thanked her, told she gave me a sense of hope. and when I was in there last week i didn't have the courage to ask her why she felt the need to tell me all that, I figured let it be, somehow she could sense something, and her telling me all this was more than enough, i don't need to know why. her name is Laura, and she truly is an angel that God put in my life.
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dana64
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 07:29 pm |
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Josie
I have did things in my life that I regret and I have prayed about and asked for forgiveness....God forgives us but we tend to dwell and let things linger on....Let it go and you will be much better you are already forgiven...We all make mistakes but we get forgiven when we ask......Just relax.... Healing with the angels by Doreen Virtue is a good book I am presently reading it...Your angels sent you to this forum and I believe you will enjoy and everyone is like a big family giving and recieving advice to one another.....Welcome
Blessings Dana
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dee
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 07:40 pm |
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dear josie
I'm so glad you told us that story about that cashier.....now I need you to trust what I say to you.....YOU were led to that line to that cashier for a huge reason.......that was God Jesus or your angels 'telling' YOU NOT to give up!!!!
and also to show you just how wonderful it all works is that you actually met this person a long time ago...and it has all led up to that moment for her to say those words to you....so you see....trust what has happened between you and this woman....God works in wonderful ways ....as does his realm of angels etc.....see...they were all a step ahead of you knowing it would be words from her to you that could show you just how 'in tune' that realm and life is connected...before we even realize it....see what I mean.....It was all planned before long before she said that to you....just so He could show you that miracles do happen...even to 'just us plain folk' so to speak....
I pray that now you will find faith in his plan for you? And that you can also give him 100% of trust....
I feel really good about this baby thing happening for you.......I feel this was all a 'sign' for you....and also a way for you to experience first hand about faith and trust....someday you may be the person who will help someone else through something and you will be able to speak from your own experiences ...which will in turn help them with faith and trust.....It is a huge part of our relationship to God and all He is...the universe...the miracles....It's all very very real!
You will be a mom.
blessings dee
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maureen5
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Posted: Mon Nov 10th, 2008 10:59 pm |
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Dear Josie,
I will be praying for you. That story of the cashier gave me goosebumps. She was sent by God to reassure you. God's time is not our time, and maybe God is waiting for the perfect time. There have been times when I prayed and prayed for something and wanted it NOW. But God knows the perfect time. Patience is difficult for me though...
I will be praying.
Love, m
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