It's been several months now since this exhausting process has started. Now that I actually had time to look back at the events of my life in the past three years, I think I'm not at the end of the tunnel yet.
I've experienced the intensity of the ascension process over the summer, and it literally took so much of me. And now I have my angel teacher, I found out it could take years for some to heal the ascension symptoms - As she explained (and based from her experiences as well), she dealt with childhood experiences and healing love relationships which stemmed from her past lives... Amazing how I now find myself in similar circumstances.
So now I know bits and pieces of my identity and now I know I'm here on this planet for a reason. I guess I just need a bit of a push again...
I'm still feeling a lot of pain, and much of it I don't know the source. I feel like I'm being shred into pieces, tossed and turned around, and usually at the verge of a panic attack. The audio meditations I use have waned on their effects on me.
I'm seeing our school counselor, I'm getting myself organized...
I still need help with cutting the cords. I'm tired of being a sponge. The process of even putting up a shield is draining me.
And why does this night feel so depressing? Is it the effect of the full moon? Why am I so drawn to those celestial bodies? It always feels like I really don't belong here.
All I ever think about is "home" --- out there... Not on this planet... But HOME. Wherever that is. I wish... I wish one day I'd know where my home really is.Last edited on Thu Nov 13th, 2008 06:58 am by Faye
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