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Miya
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| Joined: | Sat Aug 28th, 2010 |
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Posted: Wed Sep 14th, 2011 07:44 pm |
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You are doing a good job, Cliff. Don't give up and never lose your hope  I'm glad you have found this place, where many wise and nice people is helping you. You can find new answers with them. Be honest with everything you feel in heart and don't be afraid to say it.
God bless you!
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IridescentSkies
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 7th, 2011 |
| Location: | Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 78 |
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Posted: Sun Sep 18th, 2011 12:54 am |
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@Dana64,
Thank you for sharing the information, it is very helpful. Still I find myself in the same straights and it is hard to heal from all the anger but I am trying. Its already taking its toll on my psyche at this point. Talk about a hard road already when I'm already near the bottom. I'll make it out, just will need some time. Thank you for your help along with everyone.
@Miya
Thank you my dear friend. I have not lost hope yet my faith is dwindling. Each day it dwindles. It always comes back to jobs and waiting. Each time it always comes down to seeing the back account numbers go down. Each time it always is the same materialistic thing ... money. I already pray even to the point that my dreams are filled with looking or finding jobs. My psyche is already on the verge of losing itself because of the madness of acquiring a job. The messed up part, my college friend told me that there was a study ( have yet to find it ) that stated that at most a person looking for a job usually needs to spend only a hour or two a day, I've spent whole days to whole weeks looking for jobs. I'm at the point where I can simply claim I'm burnt and already reached the end of the job area within my fields.
I have already accepted a few things that have been stated here and the prospects are looking up but still I'm at a dead end with job hunting and still no takers. So to speak, does that mean I gave up because there aren't any new jobs in the market unless I expand it to out of the two states that I am applying for and relocate.
It saddens me that I have to fall this low to even be selfish enough to worry about myself but if only to maintain my sanity, I'm doing it.
I'll email you my dear, seems I'm backlogged with stuff on my email.
Blessings to both of you ladies and please do take care.
-Iridescent
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baciboba
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| Joined: | Wed Feb 9th, 2011 |
| Location: | Union Beach, USA |
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Posted: Tue Oct 4th, 2011 02:43 pm |
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dearIridescentskys,
After reading your posts I would like to send you all the strength that comes with our Archangels and Angels.
My Daughter who is 30, went through a terrible time in life as you are going through now. Many times questioning if there is anyone out there who cares. After 10 years her husband took off with another women leaving her with a 5 month old baby. Then at the same time battling Thyroid cancer . She was fired because she lost so much time going to the doctors, then lost her Car and health insurance because it was in her husbands name.
Now after many months she is Cancer Free. Divorced, and has gotten her license for Teaching. Her life is completely happy again. She has also gone back to school and is getting her Masters. She finally got a job teaching. What a different person. Stronger, Wiser and amazing.
Even when you think all doors are closed God is watching and pointing you to the window that you do not see.
Stay strong, As I read your story my senses tell me that you will look back on this one day and say, what was I thinking. I am in such a better place now.
Call on all your guides, My Grandmother taught me to start with A and go through the alphabet right through to Z. and call on every saint you can think of and ask for help. She used to laugh and tell me, " They can't all be busy one of them will hear your" till this day I still do just that. It always helps me when times are tough. Grandma was right.
many blessings your way.
Baciboba
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NinaB
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| Joined: | Thu Sep 29th, 2011 |
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Posted: Thu Oct 6th, 2011 04:34 pm |
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Iridescent,
I have been up and down and through the blender a few times since last May, I have a job where I am used and abused and it is far beneath my education. The pay is not even a living wage so each month I struggle to feed the kids and keep half a roof over us (joplin tornado)
The point being, love yourself, forgive yourself. Life is hard. Life will continue to be hard so focus on loving and learning and then let it all go (easier said than done I know).
Give yourself permission to have bad days. Continue letting us have the privilege of praying for you and sending good vibes to you because we really do care in here. And because blessing you blesses all of us, too!
After the tornado tore through my house and I found that my kids were fine, my pooch was fine and my kitties were fine I felt an unspeakable sense of euphoria. Then I was able to walk outside and I saw friends and neighbors among the dead and dying and I still am asking God why did I survive this? Why am I still here? What use am I?
Since then it has been a total roller coaster of ups and downs and panic attacks and nightmares. Angels protecting, guiding and even giving me sweet dreams. All of this has just left me drained. Thankfully I found this place and it has been a buoy that is keeping me afloat.
Love, prayers and loads of light and energy to you my friend! Don't stop believing...
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IridescentSkies
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 7th, 2011 |
| Location: | Illinois USA |
| Posts: | 78 |
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Posted: Tue Oct 11th, 2011 11:35 pm |
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Greetings Baciboba & NinaB,
Thank you for your kind words. It gave me so much time to reflect and was very helpful to know that I am not the only one going through hardships and that there are others that are in worse straights then I am.
There is little to no good news coming from my end. I will save everyone the trouble of what is going on in my mind and it already has been over an hour and I had wrote over 4 paragraphs of how bad life is ... to only delete it because its pointless to discuss it seeing as I myself am the one to face it in my path.
I've already reached the first stage of depression and my psyche is already in turmoil each day. Its to bad I am not a drinker, a smoker, or a party animal ... so I'm dealing with this with nothing more than being stubborn and forcing myself to understand why this life exists and the beauty of life. Its nothing compared to others situations, that I know to well but at some point people have to understand that some people don't have the means of an outlet like myself. I suck it in, bite my tong, and let the winds of failure, losing, pressure, stress, and depression hit me like bricks. Because of that stubborn side, I'm still alive today though at this rate I already have thought of suicide. Even then a lightworker always calls or is always near by to get my mind off of that thought. Over a job I have gone this low as to think of suicide. Yes this has gone off topic but what I am basically saying is that I have no outlet. With only 1 good friend that works and is making over 50k that I can talk to and all I do is listen to him talk about his financing and his struggles and having him win mostly every sports game because he is playing is really degrading and is beyond my understanding of humility and humbleness of the facts. A contradiction of what I don't have as opposed to what he has and what I've wanted. This storm I am in brings droves and droves of countless misfortunes but I am still walking? I reached a point where I question God and the higher orders for this life I lead. Yes its crazy and yes its childish but I'm at a loss for direct. I have asked and I have prayed to only be heard in deaf ears ... at least that is my thought. Meditation hasn't helped since I still am drained and I still fall asleep. Each time I try, I drain even more and it drives my madness to think that I am not able to grow from that and to understand or even get a sign through that. I'm a dead stop in this life but still I help people and still I am a messenger of God by any means yet I deem myself not worthy for the blasphemy that now takes form in words and even spoken from my mouth.
Whether a hundred angels to a legion of angels, it doesn't matter, I simply want to move from the straights that I am in right now if only to alleviate the pain I'm feeling and to start moving forward. I don't even feel worthy ... all of this from this topic is selfish by nature and I see it. To only worry about myself as opposed to others out there that have it much worse. Yet I acknowledge that but now this is more of a means to release so as I do not take more drastic actions on myself.
My apologies for the negativity within this post. If you look within your hearts to forgive me on this ... I simply am tired of patience and waiting. My account is dry and even my credit cards. I no longer am able to pay one to the other. I'm leaving the payments to my father who already is not healthy enough to work and suffers from depression because of how things are going. I wonder of this life and I wonder about this path I am directed too. In my heart I know my soul is kind and is full of love but can not express it.
... I have said more than enough for now.
I wish everyone a good week and blessings to all,
-Skies
Last edited on Tue Oct 11th, 2011 11:37 pm by IridescentSkies
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NinaB
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Posted: Wed Oct 12th, 2011 02:10 am |
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Skies
I am poor and sad and empty too, but, what I do have are my prayers (you are in them) good wishes (they are free) And all the love I can muster (always)
Peace be to you, with you and around you...
Protection, Angel of G-d care for this one who needs you so!
Prosperity, not riches, not greed, not spoils of war, just food, a roof and salve for a weary mind...
Hugs
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IridescentSkies
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 7th, 2011 |
| Location: | Illinois USA |
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Posted: Wed Oct 12th, 2011 02:19 am |
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NinaB wrote: Skies
I am poor and sad and empty too, but, what I do have are my prayers (you are in them) good wishes (they are free) And all the love I can muster (always)
Peace be to you, with you and around you...
Protection, Angel of G-d care for this one who needs you so!
Prosperity, not riches, not greed, not spoils of war, just food, a roof and salve for a weary mind...
Hugs
-hugs-
Thank you, in heart ... kindness and prayers go a long way but coming from others and with just the simplest words of understanding still by no means warm the heart and bring out the smile. I thank you and I also will pray for you as best as I can with what I do have left to offer.
Blessings,
-Skies
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NinaB
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Posted: Wed Oct 12th, 2011 02:47 am |
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| Always~
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