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XxAngelOnFirexX
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 3rd, 2009 |
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Posted: Wed May 27th, 2009 08:54 pm |
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| i haven't self harmed in almost 20 months. my longest ever without relasping. but i still want to cut, really bad lately. i regret not cutting every time i don't. i want to feel pain to feel alive. i need to see blood. i need to cope with my emotions. but nothing seems to work. drawing, poetry, and photogrpahy don't help and holding ice and other things aren't good enough. its like i need the real thing. but i know that i will upset my friends and family. today is my dads three years without doing drugs. if he can do that i feel like such a failure just thinking about cutting. i just don't know what to do or who to turn to. i just want to get teh whole thing over with adn just cut. i hate feeling the way i do now just waiting.
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dee
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Posted: Wed May 27th, 2009 10:15 pm |
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Dearest angel,
Have you ever seen some one professionally for this problem hon? You can't do this alone...you need to work through the things that make you feel the need.
I understand 'why' you want to do it....to take pain away...to divert the pain....but, you know that isn't going to get rid of it...it only pushes it....it will always be there until you work 'through' it...you have all those angels and God on your side....they will help you if you will help yourself....but you know this....prayers are with you..that you find the strength to get the help you need....It is time...or your life won't move forward...it's a crappy place to be stuck in....so, please find someone......dee
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maureen5
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| Joined: | Sat Jun 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | Missouri USA |
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Posted: Thu May 28th, 2009 03:21 pm |
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Angel,
I urge you to go somewhere or call someone to get help-TODAY. God and your angels will direct you to the right person...Do this for your family and your friends and most importantly, for yourself. The world needs you.
Write back and tell us what's going on. We care about you.
Love, m
Last edited on Thu May 28th, 2009 03:22 pm by maureen5
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ever1love
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Posted: Sun May 31st, 2009 11:22 pm |
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| Dear Angel,Congratulations on going 20 months.You have control! This shows it.Feel great about this accomplishment.You are a very strong person for going that length of time, but everyone needs help once in a while, so do not feel bad about getting it.This only means you are a very wise soul who knows that it might be time to get some help.It is very advisable to see a therapist, and might be the most important thing to do.Are you athletic?If you would like to try jogging this will bring about pain and still be beneficial to yourself.The more you do it the more endorfins are created which creates a great feeling for your whole being.You are not alone in wanting to cut.There are countless people in therapy for this and many more going untreated.Do you feel depressed often? Ask yourself questions as to why you feel this way.Could you replace pain with Love and feel alive? Always know you have many angels watching over you. We are never alone!!! Find solace in the fact that you are reaching out for help and feel happy knowing that it is there for you.All Gods Love and Blessings to you. Best Wishes, Gary
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Faye
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Posted: Tue Jun 2nd, 2009 05:00 am |
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Sweetie, trust me... Cutting won't do you any good --- Well, you already know that, I'm sure.
I know everyone will tell you to get professional help. I'm tempted to say the same, but am not sure of your state right now, only that I know you truly need a bit of guidance on your situation.
We hurt even without knowing why. We feel pain which sometimes leave us confused and helpless and wanting to leave this place. But know that you are a powerful, wonderful, and cherished being who came into this Earth with a purpose, a DIVINE PURPOSE.
And this purpose, as of now, is just for you to learn how to breathe again, to live again, to just be.
We cannot be there with you physically - And we are all aware that we have no control over you when you cut yourself. All we can do is send our love across the miles and pray for you, knowing that God/Goddess is watching over you and will not let anything bad happen to you. Why? Because we believe. And we believe in you, sweetie!
Express yourself in art, writing, whatever it is that you love to do... Or simply cry. There is nothing bad or wrong or ugly in whatever expression you bring out to the world because you are beautiful and you are created out of perfection.
You are loved, sweetie! And we all care for you! Please let us know whatever it is you are going through. And know that you are always in our prayers and loving thoughts.
Hugs Sister of the Sun, Moon and Stars! There is always the light at the end of the tunnel... And you are already standing in it.
Faye
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back door angel
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Posted: Tue Jun 2nd, 2009 07:28 pm |
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Sounds like 20 months and another day to me angel. Remember "the easiest advice to give is the hardest to take" Always look in every corner when you are in need, try something new for your compulsion to cut. My daughter suffers your fate as well. As a dad I tried everything and one day after a frustrating weekend I had a stupid idea.
So being a dad nothing is really to stupid for your child so I proposed this to her...
You want to cut to feel alive as well as the visual relief do you not? Yes she said both dad. Ok lets try something honey... Take a red marker and give me one arm...now use the marker as if the razor...draw a cut-color it in...see it,feel it...now give me your other arm...I wrote I love you on her arm and said now on one arm see it...do you see it!! Yes was the reply. Now on the other arm feel it FEEL IT!! I do dad was the reply I can see the visual and feel that you love me...I told her almost honey...It is you that loves you.
Goodness good luck angel "look in every corner and maybe something stupid will work" it has for us. Peter
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back door angel
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Posted: Tue Jun 2nd, 2009 07:28 pm |
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Sounds like 20 months and another day to me angel. Remember "the easiest advice to give is the hardest to take" Always look in every corner when you are in need, try something new for your compulsion to cut. My daughter suffers your fate as well. As a dad I tried everything and one day after a frustrating weekend I had a stupid idea.
So being a dad nothing is really to stupid for your child so I proposed this to her...
You want to cut to feel alive as well as the visual relief do you not? Yes she said both dad. Ok lets try something honey... Take a red marker and give me one arm...now use the marker as if the razor...draw a cut-color it in...see it,feel it...now give me your other arm...I wrote I love you on her arm and said now on one arm see it...do you see it!! Yes was the reply. Now on the other arm feel it FEEL IT!! I do dad was the reply I can see the visual and feel that you love me...I told her almost honey...It is you that loves you.
Goodness good luck angel "look in every corner and maybe something stupid will work" it has for us. Peter
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7AngelReikiMaster
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| Joined: | Thu Dec 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Deltona, Florida USA |
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Posted: Sun Jun 7th, 2009 01:04 am |
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Sending you Angel Healing Heart Reiki Healing Energy Charged for all your needs...Bless you and know that you are indeed Loved by all here...Love and Light
Always,
7AngelReikiMaster
Attachment: AngelHealingHeartpicisREIKId2831.gif (Downloaded 86 times)
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WindSong
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| Joined: | Wed Jun 3rd, 2009 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 8th, 2009 11:25 pm |
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OHHHHHH... Back door angel has a great idea!!!!! Above all else angel, it is only you who can realize your love. You must be open in your heart to receive the grace that has been given to you. We are on your side, we believe in you and you have many things to offer sweety. Realize this. I do know these feelings you have talked about. The need to feel alive comes from your love for yourself. Though you may not realize it, that in itself is life! Don't treat it as a crutch. "It" (I believe) has become a dependency, and like all addictions, must be taken one day at a time. Recapture your childlike sense of wonder and awe. View the world as a magical place. Do not focus on what is wrong right now. You are doing well in resiting the urges of self destruction. Instead affirm ..."Everything is in Divine and perfect order right now." Call upon Archangel Uriel for healing....to release these feelings and to rebuild. Nothing is lost! Without knowing more about this situation... I ask of you one thing... Release any guilt, or misguided guilt you may have. We are all connected and we are here to for you dear one. You are not alone! Many Blessings and do please let us hear back from you. If you would like to go on a more personal level, just let me know, I will drop you a personal message with my e-mail address in it. WindSong ps write in subject area "angel forum"
Last edited on Mon Jun 8th, 2009 11:54 pm by WindSong
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XxAngelOnFirexX
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Posted: Fri Jun 12th, 2009 02:32 pm |
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here is an update:
i decided that i didn't want to cut. but i was feeling very suicidal and acutally tried to kill myself but in the middle of it some strange force stopped me. then i went to a mental hospital for a week and i just got out wednesday. i'm doing much better now. thank you all for your prayers and concern!
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7AngelReikiMaster
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| Joined: | Thu Dec 14th, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 12th, 2009 03:43 pm |
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Dear XxAngelOnFirexX...I am so glad to hear you felt that and that help you needed was given...You have a purpose here...we all do and sometimes it is difficult to see or know what the purpose is...you will find that also...I hope the AngelHealingHeart was something you partook in coz it is ment to HELP and HEAL all that need and seek... Keep us posted on your progress and give THANKS for your help recieved already... You have been Divinely touched and will HEAL...Blessings Always Love and Light...
7AngelReikiMaster
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brentonalla1
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Posted: Mon Jun 15th, 2009 07:07 am |
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| dont cut yourself, if you do that then its your own bloody fault, be strong and go out and do stuff instead of sitting on the computer telling the world your sorrows, YOU CAN DO IT, YOU ARE UNIQUE, LET NOTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY
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Faye
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Posted: Wed Jun 17th, 2009 11:47 pm |
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back door angel, I used red markers on myself too... when I was in so much pain. So instead of using a razor... LOL.
I, too, ended in a ward, angelonfire... against my will. It's a long story but it does have a lot to do with the uniqueness in me coming out.
So I am so happy you are well, and know that everything you are going through will lead you to the understanding and acceptance of yourself. You are dearly cherished and loved by all of us here.
Hugs,
Faye
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dana64
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| Location: | Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Thu Jun 18th, 2009 05:15 am |
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angelonfire I am glad you are doing better... Live can be tough at times but I believe we learn from all we go through and it makes us stronger and then we can help others by the experiences we have went through. It took me awhile to figureout things in my life but I am now in peace and very happy...My daughter tried cutting before but she has overcome it and I have faith that you will also.... Anything that I can do let me know.... In you post you mentioned photography,poetry and drawing do you do these things...I enjoy reading poetry... It is great on what your father has done...Have you tried finding a group or something to go to and talk with others??? Love and Blessings Dana
YOU ARE SPECIAL AND HAVE GIFTS TO SHARE!!!
Last edited on Thu Jun 18th, 2009 05:16 am by dana64
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Symbient
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| Joined: | Fri Jun 19th, 2009 |
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Posted: Mon Jun 22nd, 2009 03:05 pm |
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((((HUGZ)))) Angel - whay not try something different or add a positive activity to your daily routine . This form is Conscious Uncontrolled Breathing - it's believed that when you are in this 'space' the you are one with your entire - if that makes any sense to you. For me it was a saving grace. If you ever just want someone to talk to send me a personal email and we can chat.
by the way this is a flyer that I use when I do a workshop.
Place both of you hands on your abdomen and sense the movement of you breath
The Intuitive Breath
There is a way of breathing
that's a shame and suffocation.
And there is another way of expiring,
a love-breath that lets you open infinitely.
Rumi
The sensation and awareness of the natural breath is the easiest tool available to:
Connect with the BODY.
Connect with the TRUTH of your inner state and thus make more meaningful choices.
Connect with the NOW as the only portal to BEING and LIFE itself.
Connect with another person in a way that RESPECTS oneself and the other.
Connect to a surrendered state of BEING that is in tune and in graceful CO-EXISTENCE with internal and external forces.
Your breath reflects every move in your life, on all levels of being, physical, emotional and spiritual. More than this, if left undisturbed, it can let you know what is needed to maintain balance and health.
Breath Cycle - Life Cycle
(Inhalation – Exhalation – Pause)
From Controlling to Allowing and Touching the Wisdom of Your Breath
Experience how the breath cycle offers possibilities for Transformation and Healing
Namaste and much love to you angel
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7AngelReikiMaster
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Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2009 03:03 am |
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Just sending you more Angel Blessings...feel it in your heart your Love for yourself will grow strong...Bless you always I give Love and Light,
7AngelReikiMaster
Attachment: Angel whitelightglows23.jpg (Downloaded 23 times)
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XxAngelOnFirexX
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 3rd, 2009 |
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Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2009 11:50 am |
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| now that i have started a new school, got and broke up with a boyfriend, lost some weight, started taking care of myself, and got busy. i am doing great. thanks for all of your support!
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back door angel
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Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2009 01:46 pm |
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| Keep up good work Angel and remember what you have learned. BDA pete
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back door angel
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Posted: Thu Sep 10th, 2009 01:46 pm |
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| Keep up good work Angel and remember what you have learned. BDA pete
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