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Searching4amiricle
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| Joined: | Sat Feb 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Detroit, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 03:03 pm |
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 im really starting to consider suicide...
its like nothing starting to make sense, im tired of having anxiety attacks...its like something keep telling me that im not worth anything, or im a failure, i try to succeed in something but now i feel like im just a burden to everyone.....im really tired of crying and loss of sleep and keeping a hood over my head cause my eyes all red and black from sleep deprevation and depression...my birthday is in 28 days...i really dont think i am going to make it to see that day, Just yesterday i was really considering just ending it all,,then i thought about how my fiance would feel...then when i call her she's mad at me...i thought that she would understand...why no one seem to understand that i need help....i dont have no one to talk to about this....i cant tell my family,or friends cause they think im crazy.....but im serious!. i dont even talk to people no more.. As im sitting here contrenplating and crying right now i just think about jumping off a bridge or sliting my wrists cause i feel so alone and a failure.......people look at me like im some type plague.im not ugly......or at least i dont think i am. ...all i want to do is be at home with my fiance...and i dont think she wants me either...i cant even talk to her if i wanted to.....i hope that GOD would understand if i do......cause i dont see another way.... i feel abandoned in my time of need when reality i dont think anyone even cares anymore if i was here.... but if i don't do it im just gonna die emotionally and probably die from sickness...my heart physically hurts now...what am i to do? why no one loves me anymore.....
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Lunamyst
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 7th, 2006 |
| Location: | Missouri USA |
| Posts: | 335 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 03:21 pm |
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Please do not loose heart, my friend. For our heavenly father and his angels love you so very much. For you have been given the gift of life and with that comes the choice of free-will. Free-will is the ability to freely choose your path. I know that you are so very sad and hurt, my friend. if I was there with you, I would give you a hug and let you know that you are never alone. Also, you are beautiflu for you are a child of God and as such your beauty comes from within. Do you realize that you were drawn here for a reason? God doesn't want you to give up. I don't want you to give up either. I had a friend I couldn't save in time and he died by suicide. I can not say just how profoundly hurt it left all of his loved ones. they fely so hurt that he could not confide in them enough to ask them for help. They felt so lost and confused. For suicide is such a terrible thing to do and I feel that it is extremely selfish. I am sorry to sound harsh but, I know from first hand what that sort of thing does. Don't get me wrong, I've been to that point several times in my life and even went through one idea and luckily, it failed. It left me with a permant reminder for the experience was horrifying! I saw and felt things that I never care to know ever again. Please reconsider suicide, myfriend. You will overcome this pain. I shall pray for you to have the strength, courage, wisdom, and comfort. May you know peace and happiness in your precious life. May you surrounded with the light and love of our heavenly father and his angels. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Lunamyst
P.S.
You will find love again my friend. Take it from me, my fiance hurt me so badly on valentine's day in 1996 and that is when I attempted to end my life. I was spared for a reason. I love my girl and I have been with her since 1998.
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Searching4amiricle
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| Joined: | Sat Feb 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Detroit, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 03:28 pm |
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| im trying......i been hurt so many times now.. i do not know what to do.. but thats all i see right now....im trying to keep from crying in this library but its too hard to do.. i might just go....cause i dont want ppl thinking im crazy im just depressed
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Searching4amiricle
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| Joined: | Sat Feb 24th, 2007 |
| Location: | Detroit, Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 03:33 pm |
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| ppl here looking at me like its a sin to cry....i hate this... i really wish i was dead right now... i dont have no one that really willing to stay by me when i need them here in mich...plus the other things thats going on in life...its begining to be too much 4 me....i still think about the daughter i lost and all the support i gave all my ex's and for them to abandon me i dont know... i wish i could just go in a hole and die seriously
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soraya
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| Joined: | Sat Jan 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 481 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 04:14 pm |
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| hello dearone, you are never alone there are many here praying and sending good healing energy to you, you are strong you have been through much and are going through a crisis right now, okay deep breaths think the word peace it has an immediate effect on the body, you will get through this you are a survivor and it will take much more for you to give up on life for you are too precious to be allowing thoughts of this nature you havent got time for that, focus on what you can acheive towards shining some light onto this situation im from u.k. so im not knowledgeable on assistance but lunamyst is take advice and any help, i strongly feel there are many angels around you and Archangel Michael is close by you he walks with you do you talk to yourself when walking for its Micheal your talking to, call on him for he is protective and will help bring calmness and truthful clarity in your situation, Gut blessi thig soraya
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princessde42
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 06:15 pm |
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When you have a negative thoughts turn to God and the ANgels. Nothing is worth taking your life over. You are here because you are a gift from God. I suggest that you read the "Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield for help. It will open up a whole new world for you like it did me. I have been where you are on more than one occasion. Please ask for help and we are here. Never ever take your own life becuase God would not want that. If you pray to God and the Angles they will come to you. Also, I suggest that you go to a spiritual store and find some crystal stones to place beside you and surround yourself with them. Read the book "The Crystal Bible". You will have out if you ask you shall receive. The most important thing to do is ASK. I have wrote a program for the state of Florida a couple years ago. Believe me I know what I'm talking about. Another suggestion is you go online and go to the site "The yellow Mustang". This is where I got my research from for my suicide prevention program. I was a guest speaker at several schools and also am a Juvenile Detention care worker -retired after 15 years. If you can't find the site let me know. My program was implemented into the state of Florida and the schools. May God and the Angels watch over you. I will send white light your way!!!!
~Princessde~
Last edited on Thu Mar 1st, 2007 06:19 pm by princessde42
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Rebecca
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 26th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 08:58 pm |
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| No matter how dark the hour now, the sun always comes again. I have been through rape, childhood abuse, the father of my child leaving me to struggle and cope alone now for the past 13 years, to having issues with addiction and more. I have lost friends, my brother died at age 40 - far too young, and there isn't a day that goes by that something doesn't work out the way I wish. I almost died last summer, was in the hospital for two months, had to have an operation that left me disabled, I struggled to get well, went back to work, and was let go because of my disability just four months after returning to work. I had no way out, no light, no way to pay my bills, and life just basically sucked. Well, that is, from the outside looking in. From the inside looking out, I can tell you that every day, I was blessed with a serene peace within, and I am here, still alive, still blessed to be raising my precious daughter, and with the loss of employment, I received unemployment which more than meets our needs presently, and to top it all off, God blessed us with unexpected winnings of $17,000 to pay my landlord and many others who helped me when I had nothing. I have been homeless with my child, I have been hopeless, and I have been mad at God, but this past year has shown me that I am always always always taken care of and that no matter what, there is a God and angels that minister to us. Look no further than your heart. Count your blessings and stop counting your misfortunes. Get out of the house and help someone else, and before you know it, you'll be singing. Stop focusing on yourself.
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Rebecca
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 26th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 08:58 pm |
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| No matter how dark the hour now, the sun always comes again. I have been through rape, childhood abuse, the father of my child leaving me to struggle and cope alone now for the past 13 years, to having issues with addiction and more. I have lost friends, my brother died at age 40 - far too young, and there isn't a day that goes by that something doesn't work out the way I wish. I almost died last summer, was in the hospital for two months, had to have an operation that left me disabled, I struggled to get well, went back to work, and was let go because of my disability just four months after returning to work. I had no way out, no light, no way to pay my bills, and life just basically sucked. Well, that is, from the outside looking in. From the inside looking out, I can tell you that every day, I was blessed with a serene peace within, and I am here, still alive, still blessed to be raising my precious daughter, and with the loss of employment, I received unemployment which more than meets our needs presently, and to top it all off, God blessed us with unexpected winnings of $17,000 to pay my landlord and many others who helped me when I had nothing. I have been homeless with my child, I have been hopeless, and I have been mad at God, but this past year has shown me that I am always always always taken care of and that no matter what, there is a God and angels that minister to us. Look no further than your heart. Count your blessings and stop counting your misfortunes. Get out of the house and help someone else, and before you know it, you'll be singing. Stop focusing on yourself.
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princessde42
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 09:24 pm |
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Rebecca,
You rock girl!!! I wrote but not as great as you did. What a great person you are. I have had a difficult life also. However, I realized from reading your story that mine wasn't half that bad. I have had to pull my self up from the bottom many times. I remember that although I have it bad sometimes there is always someone who is having it worst. Bless you and Your daughter. Your wings where carry you to wherever you choose to venture. As a final thought to all: God will never put any more on your shoulders than you can handle. Believe me when I say, I have strong shoulders. Have a Godly and Angleic day.
~Princessde~
Last edited on Thu Mar 1st, 2007 09:25 pm by princessde42
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shaorin
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| Joined: | Tue Feb 27th, 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Mar 2nd, 2007 08:25 pm |
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I feel your pain i too contemplated suicide many years ago i took a whole heap of tablets lucky for me it didn't work because at the time my girls were only little, my husband and i had seperated and i was hurting so bad at the time i just didn't want to be here anymore.
We did get back together and everything turned out so much better.
And in the Dec 2000 he passed away i once again didn't want to be here anymore considered driving myself off a bridge or just letting go of the wheel and hoping a semi would run into me. I couldn't do it because of my 2 girls and my unborn grandchild they were the ones who helped me get through my hard time for they were stronger than me.
They were hurting too just as much as me but, they kept it together for me they made sure i ate they cleaned the house because i just didnt want to do anything. I went back to work but, i was not the same person and i never will be that person again. For he made me laugh and made me smile all the time and i loved doing things for him and he always made feel that i had a certain glow inside.
2 years on i met someone else we moved in together and got engaged but, the next 3 years proved to be hell i kept breaking the engagement off we'd get back together and i continued this many times. I know why this was because i had not gotten over my husband passing. Then something happened that made me realize that i truly did love this man we got back together engagement ring and all planned a wedding and i decided to go to counselling.
We got married just over 1 year ago and i am happy and love this man but, still not the person i used to be for never will i feel the love i felt for my 1st husband i was crazy about him.
Please seek the help you so desperately need for it helps to be able to talk to someone and there is so much to live for this world is a beautiful place. I thank god and the angels for intervening in my 1st suicide attempt for i would be missing out on so much my lovely family and these beautiful surroundings.
Don't give up for god and the angels are with you.
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ladyangelswings
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Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 06:08 am |
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The one thing I remember each day that the lowest point is to remind me that there are highest points to reach. Without the feelings of hopelessness we can not reach out for the grandest touch of all. God gave us our arms to reach out and love each other. It is a sad day when we are so isolated that we cannot cry on somes shoulder, for that is the strengh we have. Each other. Do not ever feel no one is there. We all are. All of us have felt the depths of doom. And from my heart, I care.
For each tear you give, I feel your sorrow. From Pisceian to the next. remeber what God said,"Peace I leave with you, my peace, I give unto you: not as the world givith,give I unto you, Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
My kiss to your tears.---Ladyangelswings.
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ladyangelswings
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Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 06:08 am |
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The one thing I remember each day that the lowest point is to remind me that there are highest points to reach. Without the feelings of hopelessness we can not reach out for the grandest touch of all. God gave us our arms to reach out and love each other. It is a sad day when we are so isolated that we cannot cry on somes shoulder, for that is the strengh we have. Each other. Do not ever feel no one is there. We all are. All of us have felt the depths of doom. And from my heart, I care.
For each tear you give, I feel your sorrow. From Pisceian to the next. remeber what God said,"Peace I leave with you, my peace, I give unto you: not as the world givith,give I unto you, Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
My kiss to your tears.---Ladyangelswings.
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